“You must stay drunk on writing so reality does not destroy you” – Ray Bradbury

Ok, writers, notice it says “drunk on writing,” not just “drunk.”
The above quote is from an introduction essay in Ray Bradbury’s Zen in the Art of Writing. It’s a great book, I mean to read it someday. Ha Ha. I’ve read it four or five times, and I get something more each time.

What he is saying right before the quote is, write, write, write. And then write some more. Why? Lots of reasons. First being that you have to write a lot of crap before you can write something good. I can personally attest to this. In fact, I thought I had discovered this fact all my own, and then I read it in his book. Even when you write good stuff, you will have to write some more crap to get more good stuff. The more you write, the sooner you get to the good stuff. In addition, it keeps you limber.

Secondly, if you are a writer, just the process of writing is necessary for you. It grounds you, clears your mind and lightens your soul. If you are a musician, you must play everyday. You know this. I don’t know how to really explain what it does a person. Maybe I can’t. Maybe it can only be understood by doing it. But I know it works. So, go do what you do. Make it a priority. Doesn’t have to be a lot. Just everyday. Try it for a week. See how you feel.
When I do, I feel like me.

And stop watching the news.

So, I took a step back. Way back. I focused on my morning journals, I joined an online songwriting group (KC Turner Songwriting Group), I am on a reading binge, and studying anything and everything that my passion points me to. Writing songs, playing gigs, putting my music out there, but not chasing the dream. That is the big twist. Not chasing the dream.

Did I give up? Nope. I realized that living this way, fulfilling my passions, my hunger for knowledge and leaving real time to create is the dream come true. I realized that fame, financial success, and all that is very much due to luck. It’s not only about talent. Often, it’s not about talent at all. It’s luck, and luck begets luck. It is probably the single most important factor.

Do I still want to get lucky? Sure do, but I am not waiting till then to be happy. ( I am not afraid to be happy anymore, either, but that is another topic to address someday. Maybe soon.) I will still promote, I will still work, I will still strive, but I don’t depend on these outward signs of success to feel validated. I still work, because I would love to travel the world, playing my music and being rewarded handsomely. And there is no way to get lucky if you are not in the game.  There is a quote from Woody Allen, that goes something like ” Eighty percent of success is just showing up.” I have always interpreted this to mean that you have to be out there for luck to come your way. So, yes, I’ll stay in the game.

But, it’s on my terms now. It makes it so much easier to make decisions and choices when you know your values and priorities. I don’t stress about making this show or that. I’ll try, but I’m not going to worry. If I’m to get lucky, I’ll get lucky, if I’m not, I’m not. No worries, because I am just as happy to sit here, drink my oolong tea, and write a new song.

So, I’m clearing out a lot of the old trying-too-hard. Going through all the blogs in my reader and deleting those that I only have in there for self-serving purposes. I don’t even read them. In doing so, though, I have come back across on of my favorite blogs, Zen Habits. I never followed the directions, and did the start here part. This time I did, and came across a great article about creativity. If you are curious about the process, or if you are the creative type, I know you will enjoy it. And, of course, I loved it, because it agrees with my thinking. Ha ha!  This is how we are, no? Anyway, here is the article: The Number One Habit of Highly Creative People.

My days are full, from the second I wake, till I pass out with a book late at night. Sure, there is still stress, but that is life, and good fuel sometimes. But it is balanced by the quiet joy of feeding my passions. I hope you can find your passion, make it a priority, and feel the same. You can if you want to.

Well, that’s my nickle. You can keep the change.

~j

But it has a dark side, too. The lens can be distorted. (Well, it’s always distorted to be completely honest.) But like a good tube amp, sometimes the distortion is nice, like when you first fall in love, and your lens puts a glow around your lovers face and a halo over their head. On the dark side, though, we can’t see straight. The first thing that comes to my mind is sour grapes. You know when you can’t appreciate someone’s success because you wish it was yours. Or when you can’t see your team commit a single foul, and the other team is nothing but a bunch of thugs!

Often, I can’t hear music straight. Some days, all music sounds stupid. Not just my own, but everybody’s. On these days, I’ve learned a little test to show myself it’s one of those days and just give it a rest. I put on Stevie Wonder, the Beatles, and Beethoven. If they all sound stupid, I just leave it alone. No music for me that day. Time to do all that recycling or something. I could be bitter, or just cranky. Either way, best to just move on.

Recently, I have been doing a lot of work, mental work, to clean this lens. To be able to control this lens. To be able to see this lens. Just becoming aware of the lens goes a long way to being able to clear it.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I played a show with a couple of different acts the other night, and my lens was gone, or nearly gone if that’s possible. I had a direct experience listening to their music. It was all beautiful. It was powerful, it was deep. It can only be felt by being in the presence of live music. The human being being ,creating right in front of you The sound waves real and raw, washing over you. The community of other people, all our bodies being manipulated by the rhythm of the drum, the hum of the bass, the primal tone of the singer. I say primal because, as much as I love lyrics, I don’t think that’s what we are responding to, it’s the timbre, expression, character, and nuance in the voice. We don’t need to know what they are saying to know what they are saying.

It was such a beautiful experience. I was unguarded. I want you to feel the same way. Go out, see some music. Don’t judge, just listen, just watch, and let the music wash over you. All music is redeeming in some way. If you drop the your lenses for a few minutes, that way will reveal itself to you. It will wash the dust from your soul. The little child deep inside you may just open their eyes, cry tears of joy, and jump from bed to bed in the playroom of your heart.

Don’t judge, just be, and you’ll see.

~j

Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities. -Aldous Huxley

Fast becoming one of my favorite thinkers, Aldous Huxley has many great quotes and will probably show up here quite a bit.

What is happiness anyway? It isn’t joy, excitement, entertainment, or distraction. I believe it is contentment. I think what makes us content varies with each individual, but I have a sneaking suspicion that there are universal themes. I am studying, meditating and writing trying to find the answer to this.
Do we find happiness out there, or within? Do we find it, uncover it, or set it free like a child at play?

What do you think? What is happiness? How do we get there, or are we there already? Your comments will help this discovery.

“We are prone to see what lies behind our eyes, rather than what apprears before them.” – Thomas Huxley

This is an an old sentiment, but this particular phrasing is attributed to T. Huxley.
My word for this is the “lens.” As in, the translucent shade we put in front of our eyes, coloring our perception. We all build our own lenses, through nature and nurture, but primarily experience. Not just experience, but how we interpret that experience. How we use it to build our mental map, our mental constructs of the world.
We need this to function, but too often it hinders us.

My theory is that enlightenment occurs when we drop the lens. I don’t know since I have reached it, but it’s my guess. Still, we can gain enormous benefit if we just learn to see the lens itself. Just watch. Don’t try to change it. Not at first. Just look for the lens, try to see it, how it colors things for you. Just awareness of it will cause the change you desire.

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. -Hubert Horatio Humphrey Jr.

So, yeah, it was pretty serious. And expensive. But glad that I live in an age when they can fix it. In the old days, I would have been in serious trouble. Deaf, facial paralysis, meningitis, and then no bueno.
I had a Tympanomastoidectomy.

Unfortunately, it ate those little ear bones, so I will have another surgery in 6 to 9 months to have prosthetic bones put in. Once finished, my hearing will be better than it has been in years.

I am recouping nicely. Sometimes I feel like I was hit in the side of the head with a baseball bat, but mostly I’m good. It’s been almost two weeks.

Soooooooo, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!
I am very grateful, lucky, and looking for a new year with a new ear, and some new songs for all.

Thanks!!!

So, I stumbled across this, and thought it summed up one of the reasons we write, create, and doodle. It is only one piece, but very well said.

“You compose because you want to somehow summarize in some permanent form your most basic feelings about being alive, to set down… some sort of permanent statement about the way it feels to live now, today.”

Aaron Copland, 20th century ‘Americana’ composer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaron_Copland

A Clip – maybe this works

enjoy.

Now, each of their colors is more unique,
affected and effected by their particular disposition
towards the sunlight.
Curled, some cracked,
yet so much more intriguing, and so much the individual,
and free to go where the wind takes them, not bound and not resisting.
Their mortality now understood and certain,
they are free finally, to go where the wind blows,
in the courtyard, swept off the steps and across the lawns.
Despite the browning, they don’t look as if they are dying,
they seem to be journeying.
No longer tethered, going to places we can only guess.
We just catch a glimpse,
a curious and envious glance, as they scurry by.
Feeling a great future awaits,
we just have to wait and see
and watch
the bustle of the leaves.

~j
11/08

a friend reposted this from another site i have. i had totally forgotten about it. when i started reading it, i didn’t even know it was mine for a few lines. hope you enjoy.

But, I think we have to have it both ways. Aware of reality, but keep some of our delusions or it all becomes hopeless. I was thinking this, then I ran across this quote, and I think it’s a perfect way to start.

Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. – Mark Twain in Pudd’nhead Wilson

too true!

from Pudd'nhead wilson by mark twain